Part 3: Tinder dating as a Succulent Babe

 

First off, let me start off by saying that the Prince of Red Deer and I went on a great first and last date. I decided to mention him in this series, because I think that my experience with him is SO common. This was my last tinder date ever, and this experience was the cherry on top of my decision to put and end to self-torturous thumb cramps.

I call him the Prince of Red Deer because he truly was charming. This freakishly great date happened over dinner and a glass of wine. He refused to let me pay for any part of the bill, because I shared the Big Cheese story so he wanted to make up for that. Amazing, right? Did I mention he drove 2 hours out of Calgary just go for dinner with me? Another win! I shit you not he knew my ring size and engagement ring on the first date (it was jokingly brought up), but he didn’t run away and instead laughed WITH ME. Here I am dancing, making snapchats about my Tinder adventures, we’re planning the next date, and I know what you’re thinking, how could this possibly take a turn? It does when he bails not twice BUT THREE TIMES ON PLANS. By bail, I mean would stop responding to my text messages as we got closer to the actual date- the worst.

In the midst of all of this uncertainty I enlisted Addy (fellow Succulent Babe) to search the shit out of this dude. Addy’s findings include:

  • As per his profile available to strangers, www.tuckermax.com is listed as a website. Now, if you’re like me, and had no idea about this website you will be very disappointed to know that it represents all things fuck-boy and worse.
  • There’s no second point, but point one should have been enough for me to run.

Ugh. Just ugh. In hindsight I should have listened to Addy when she told me to get the fuck out of there (see that Addy!? I’m admitting you were right). But because I’m a strong independent woman who needs to learn for myself, what did I do??? Oh you know it, I responded to the guy even after I politely ended our pen pal relationship. And what came of it you ask? Well, on a Friday evening while I was busy living my life in downtown Calgary (half a bottle of wine later- rightfully so). I get a text from the Prince himself saying that he was disappointed I chose to end things and not give him a second chance. First off, who gave anyone the right to be disappointed in me? No one has that right. Long story short, the Prince of Red Deer wanted me to leave my Friday night plans, drive to Red Deer so he could make me dinner and make up his shitty behavior. “I’m sorry what? You want me to buy gas FOR YOU?” – was my actual reaction. Just as a general rule of thumb, when I don’t understand what someone is trying to say I will repeat their words right back to them just to make sure we’re all on the same page. So, I say “just to clarify, you want me to drive over an hour to see you, so you can make up for bailing on me 3 times?” He says, “yes”. My next question, “did you think I was doing nothing at 6pm on a Friday night?” He answers, “I was hoping so!” (Just to be clear, even if I were at home in my pj’s on a Friday night, my reaction would still be the same.)

Lets pause. I’m a 24-year who has a lot to celebrate. Breathing, working, dreaming, being a Succulent Babe is all worth celebrating on a Friday night. Let’s be real here, would you leave your bottle of Quails Gate Rose and good company to drive to Red Deer at 6 pm for dinner? YOU BETTER NOT.

After going back and forth with the Prince, I said, “I think you have good intentions here, but I‘ve given you more than enough chances here to make up for bailing. I value my time a lot and I thought we had great chemistry, but I did nothing wrong so I’m not putting in any more effort into you. If you want to make it up to me, just do it.” Still insisting on dinner that night at his place which was not in this city. My final words to the Prince of Red Deer you ask?

“I am worth much more than a home cook meal from the heart. All the best.” This was hard for me to say because I reaaaallly love food and I never turn down a home cooked meal. BUT, when you choose to disregard my time and expect me to go out of my way when that effort isn’t being reciprocated YOU OUTTA YO MIND.

The success: I believe I successfully dodged a bullet of unfulfilled promises. I know that I successfully respected my time and myself by establishing a limit and actually following through.

The lesson: Not all home cooked meals lead to good relationships (even if the person making it is trained in French cuisine). DAMN IT.