Part 4: Tinder dating as a Succulent Babe


Why I have retired from the Tinder World

Since my last relationship my tinder dates have decreased significantly, and it’s because I’ve decided (after 3 long ass years of profile sifting and thumb cramps) that I am officially done with this app.

Why? Well…

  • Millennial dating how you have royally fucked my generation. If you’ve never heard the term millennial dating, it’s basically an explanation of “you can date her/him BUT… the next person you meet COULD be better”.  Excuse my language, but what in the actual fuck. Why has this become a thing? Why can’t we meet someone, like them, them like us, date the shit out of each other, and MAYBE just MAYBE commit to being in a relationship without thinking “what if” or “who else is out there.”
  • Why do you build me up, buttercup baby just to let me down?        AKA: Why are you so awesome for date 1-4 and then crumble at the site of commitment? Comm-phobs everywhere, and yet they still want it ALL. (Listen up boys, not every girl is looking to get married tomorrow. With that being said, if you’re with a girl and she is allocating time to spend with you, it is not for funzies. If a busy, successful woman is giving you her time and attention, you better believe that she is interested. So don’t fuck it up.)
  • And lastly, I’m just tired. I’m tired of dealing with fuck-boys, and I’m tired of going on dates to entertain conversations where guys just talk about themselves. I’ve also gone on a lot of really good dates with good people. But we always seem to remember the ugly first.

There you have it folks! The good-ish, the juicy, the bad, and the ugly! I have since retired myself from the app, and you can now catch me in real time! Aka: At work, at the barn, McDonald’s, drinking champagne, or working on my awesome business with my bomb ass tribe. It wouldn’t be in Succulent Babe nature to have this blog talking purely about negative experiences. I’d like to highlight the Tinder good guys that I’ve had the pleasure of spending time with. Wherever you guys are I’m sending you so much light and love.

Trey Songz of New Zealand: You showed me electricity and then gave me hope that electricity between two humans actually existed.

Adam: You got me excited about ME because you asked questions and cared to listen. I couldn’t thank you enough for being proud of my business and me.

Jesus the bass player (Jonathan): This was probably the first date ever where I truly just hung out with a guy and there were no expectations. And… you didn’t judge me when it was 2 am and I had to pee in a bush. I’m happy to still call you my friend.

If I were to sum up my overall tinder experience into LSL, it would look like:

Longevity: Other than 3 years of tinder persistence, I would say that there is longevity in what I have to offer as a person. I am a love hard, work hard woman and I will sure as hell find relationship that reflects just that.

Success: I have successfully and fully established my worth.

Lessons: If you’ve gotten to this blog post, YOU KNOW ALL THE LESSONS.

Please keep in mind that I only speak from my own experiences, and Tinder definitely has its success stories. And yes, I know I’m only 24 and finding my future succulent partner isn’t going to happen overnight. Until then! I’ll be making more of an effort to go out (like in public not just to the bar). I hear playing co-ed sports even though you’re not good at “sports” is something worth exploring! The way I see it, we can only go up from here!

Thugs & Kisses,